Saturday Night TV Sucks

Remeber the good old days of TV? You know when we had about 40 channels and there was always something to watch? Well in the first time in about 10 years I know find myself with nothing to watch. It is sad really. Even Saturday morning cartoons have taken a dive. It is all remakes of what what we watched growing up. Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and atleast 7 diffrent versions of Pokemon have hit the airwaves and they are not as good as the original.

Remakes are never as good as the original but people still remake them anyway. Its all a marketing ploy just like Easter and Christmas. Why cant we all just buy Jesus a birthday cake? I'll tell you why, because the birthday cake industry doesn't pay the government any money. See when toys and electronic devices are made there is lots of room for error so what they will do is bribe the government instead of doing a recall. when is the kast time you heard of a birthday cake explosion hurting hundreds of people all across Canada? Thats right never.

Ranting like this is what years of slowly loseing you marbles will do to you children. Personally i think that is the whole reason why all the people that have been captured and anal probed by aliens are so popular. Look here boys and girls why do the aliens want the ugliest people in canada? They never capture a blond with big boobs... OH NO the always go for the fool that clocks in at 400 pounds and has no teeth. Thats right rural Canada at it finest, the Pick-Up Drivers of Canada. Well at lest we know they will have lots of huge asses to probe because it doesn't look like they are going anywhere anytime soon.

Another thing. The "Aliens" are sopposed to be smart enough to have created a ship that will fly through space. Well WHY IN THE HELL do they keep getting captured by the American government? Why dont they just crash in a corn field in Atlantic Canada. We will feed them, bathe them and offer them a bed in our home before we even ask if they are an Alien and we will probably think they are from Ontario before we even ask because we just dont see that many people from Ontario around here.

The Computer Ate My Baby

I had some kind of strange virus the other day that was eating space on my computer. I couldn't find where the damn thing was and Avast couldn't remove it. I decided right then and there to reformat my drive. Here is the guide in 50 step.

1> Found virus
2> Updated Avast
3> Scanned for 4 hours
4> It wouldn't remove it
5> seach my room for 45 minutes to find my windows XP cd
6> Find the cd
7> go have a cigarette
8> come back to my computer, remove cat from desk
9> insert CD and restart computer
10> Discoverd that my computer is no longer set to boot from cd
11> restart computer mash the F2 key
12> BIOS opens, scan for 10 minutes and find the boot order
13> Set the DVD rom drive as first device
14> restarted the computer
15> Missed pressing the button to boot the XP cd
16> Restart the PC
17> Booted from the cd
18> Go out for another cigarette
19> Remove cat from desk
20> Press enter, F8, D, L, Enter
21> Computer starts to format
22> The ghost turns off my computer
23> Go out and make myself a Voldka and Lime
24> Remove cat from computer desk
25> Started the format again
26> Two hours and 4 drinks later computer restarts
27> Windows XP Home starts to install
28> Typed in CD Key, 6th time is a charm (Voldka is hard on the head)
29> Selected timezone, country and named my computer
30> 47 minutes later, i get a screen that looks like a desktop on crack
31> Go out for another cigarette
32> Remove cat from computer desk and close the door
33> The screen now looks like someone took a baseball bat to it
34> Spend 20 minutes digging out my Drivers disk
35> Install mother board drivers
36> restarted
37> Try to install video card, no card detected
38> restart the machine and load the BIOS again
39> Change the video properties from auto to PEG
40> Restarted
41> Try to install card again, no card connected
42> install lan
43> cannot get connected to the internet
44> go out for another smoke... make that two
45> remove cat from computer desk (How the hell does it keep getting in here?)
46> computer connected (The ghosty is out)
47> downloaded ATI drivers
48> installed the drivers, restarted
49> we have a monitor and color
50> Install the rest of my software.

So there you have it. The adventures of formatting.

I Fought The Bees And The Bees Won

Oh boy. I was cleaning out my front step when I moved an old cardboard box I had stored under there during the winter. Well it was safe to say there wasnt much left of it so I hauled out out from under the step and much to my surprise the box was buzzing. As I moved away slowly bees started flying out of the box (they must have been homeless bees) and swarmed me. There was about 6 to 10 on me so I soaked myself with the hose and and ran into the house screaming like a little girl. Did I mention they really really scare me?
This morning I got up and went back outside to destroy the hive. I poured 5 buckets of warm, soapy water all over the box and killed some of them. Then I took some javex and poured that all over the box (they are going to be clean bees if they live) I got rid of a huge section of the box when I noticed that was only part of the nest. The damn things are living in the GROUND. Yup I saw them flying up thought a hole under my step the evil little bastards.
Well here is my problem. I cant take them on by myself and I really dont want to start pokeing at the hive because I will die if I get stung too many times and there are kids around next door. I called a local pest control service and they said they dont like to remove the hives if they do not bother anyone... Well they have set up a shantty town under my step and I dont want them to sting someone. They also told me depending on the size of the nest in the ground and how late in the bee season it is they could have to dig out all under my step to remove the whole hive. Unfortunatly bees are not like wasps and they will not die off in the winter so as the seasons go on, the nest will get bigger. There is also a huge sorce of pollon from an apple tree at the top of my yard. So i guess for now the bees have won.